arcade nihilist

...about when I wrote these words: " I am a published writer, but in my estimation, not nearly enough as I should be" . Well, today they seem arrogant. It is not that I think I'm such a wonderful gift to humanity that I deserve it all. NO! I am self-conscious about my work, myself. In truth, what I was trying to say to myself is "Get off your duff, Christina, and WRITE MORE!" I was thinking about missed opportunities. I was trying to motivate myself to become more, because I am not where I am supposed to be yet. Seems I need a mantra. There is this innate feeling, calmly guiding me. I've always felt like Life is pulling me slowly in a certain direction. I think I will instinctively know when I have reached the point. I am not there yet. I must keep going, keep it together, keep WRITING. I used to think everyone felt pulled by a life's path electricity, but I get blank looks when I try to explain myself. It's a winding road; not yellow brick, but invi...

Some people think that writers block is a myth, but I assure you, it is the very real second cousin once removed of the brain fart. Symptoms (in my experience, anyway) include: -Mild Depression -Cluttered thoughts (can I Feng Shui my head?) -Sleeplessness -Anxiety -The feeling like I forgot/am missing something Will they invent a pill for writers block? Will they advertise it incessently on television, then quickly list all of its potentially fatal side effects at the end of said advertisement? The thing I hate most is when you have no clue what you are going to attempt to write next. Then you go to a dinner party or something, and have people say: SOO what are you writing? And What are you gonna write next? And they're not really listening, anyhow. They just want to see me squirm a little, right? Because that's what writers do at dinner parties. We squirm. A little. And that's when I generally get my idea of what to write next, only I'm seemingly miles from a pad, or ...

Would you believe I wrote a lengthy post that did not go through?? Curse technology, but it's probably for the best. Too revealing, maybe. Oh wait, I see its still saved as a draft! The big reveal below!

Would you believe I stopped blogging because I forgot my password?? Or was it more than that...but really, did I think I could make it in my Written World without this type of therapy? That's what it is...the best type of therapy, the inward turned outward. Did I ever share my favorite writing quote? "If I do not write to empty my mind, I go mad" - George Gordon Byron - So true, and no one wants that! This is the best possible elixer, isn't it? Typing whatever ails you away. I remember my college roommate said she loved to hear me typing at night. She said it sounded like rain tapping at the window. It's strange what you recollect all these years later...but I'm still the Same Me, right? The one who tapped at the window with her raindrops? This one is older, though...she's lost some people in her life. She doesn't get too close to friends, anymore, and that's both good and bad for her writing. She's more of an observer now. People don't hur...