Greetings & Salutations
Did I ever share my favorite writing quote?
"If I do not write to empty my mind, I go mad"
-George Gordon Byron-
So true, and no one wants that!
This is the best possible elixer, isn't it? Typing whatever ails you away. I remember my college roommate said she loved to hear me typing at night. She said it sounded like rain tapping at the window. It's strange what you recollect all these years later...but I'm still the Same Me, right? The one who tapped at the window with her raindrops? This one is older, though...she's lost some people in her life. She doesn't get too close to friends, anymore, and that's both good and bad for her writing. She's more of an observer now. People don't hurt her the way they used to...but can she still feel pain like she used to? Actually feel her heart shatter into clay bits? Terrible, terrible.
Writing is the only true friend, though. I learned it in third grade, on my own, and it stayed with me. And the well-intentioned say, "Keep with it." And I say this to people, too. To mean what you say, with the best possible intentions. Truly this is the way to be. Kind.
I don't miss people much, anymore. It's a robotic struggle, because I know I'm supposed to. I'm a bit removed, but I started out with too much heart, anyway.
My other favorite quote?
"I get it now; I didn't get it then. That life is about losing and about doing it as gracefully as possible...and enjoying everything inbetween".
So a bit late on New Years Resolutions, but I do hope to write more. I would like to focus my efforts on something big. Dare I say the "B" word (Book!), the "N" word (Novel!) I won't tell you what I might write, then I will have gone ahead and ruined it for myself. Too ambitious...I've made that mistake before...talked myself right out of the writing!
Maybe that's the way for an artist to miss people. To reinvent and reimagine lives through the work. To gloss over what should have been glossed. To face what you couldn't properly face back then. But I am blessed for my experiences and I do know this. And I haven't changed so much, just time traveled. I'm still the same, typing and listening to Placebo while the rain makes contact with my window.
I think I'll stop in again sometime real soon.